Mini handbook on unimportance
One of the privileges of adulthood is being able to simply choose not to care. To get on with the life we have chosen, despite the obstacles that appear along the way.
The freedom to let go of what drains your energy does not fall from the sky; it is an achievement. And I say achievement because there are many people chained to the validation of others, trying to please those who, in practice, carry no weight in the balance. Therapy is needed.
When you learn to give yourself a good dose of unimportance, you discover a simple secret: almost no one is looking at you. People are too busy with their own lives. It's like quit a terrible job you only apply for the applause of an invisible audience or to please who knows who.
Over time, this notion of unimportance (in the best sense of the word) grows. And it loosens the knots of the senseless conventions that social games insist on imposing. Your awareness sharpens; your presence does too. You start to invest your attention in what really matters to you.
Perhaps the freedom you seek lies in this: giving yourself the importance you deserve and living your life the way you want to. The rest, honestly? That's the problem of those who expect you to live their lives.